LOVES
PERCUSSION / LOVE 1.
Here we go. Softer and fast, sporadic mine, my mind mine, where did you go now? Only a shake in the background. What are you counting? What are you clicking? No, no, no, you’ve got it wrong, I am only here to keep time. I am only here to give the rhythm to your mind. There is sand between my toes that I am fidgeting out—white beaches, ocean-cleaned peaches, rinse & repeat. I live on an island—that is my final dream. To die between waves but not on them. I am the heartbeat of the sea. It tickles, the sand between my toes. It tickles, my mind. It’s itching to say, to tell you, I love you but, I care for you but, I am here for you BUT. But I am leaving. I am setting sail for a place I don’t know the name of, but I am learning it letter by letter. You cannot come. No. No. Shake of the head. Shake on the beat. You cannot come—you have it wrong—you cannot come with me. Instead I can/will—shush you to sleep. Someone with a pulse, with a wrist. They hold me here, keep me here, sans escape or even chance. Let me go! Screams. Let me go! Soft still. Never louder. “I want to hear… your voice more.” There are they, waves. I have left.
BASS / LOVE 2.
Oh baby. I echo you in darkness. Registers unknown, unheard of—simply preposterous!—but felt. I know you do. In the chest, there. No, back. Way back. Where the spine starts. You just lie down—I coax you. But it’s a sound much softer than that. Not “coax”, ugh. I am the seducer. You’re right. I pray you. I know you. I [soft] you. You lie down. Horizontal sounds. Close your damn hard-working eyes. Dream of me. Tiny. Enormous. Gorgeous. I want you. You’ve always wanted me. You can’t unfollow me, can you? Little girl you. Harmless you. Harmless me. Perfect pair, no? Oh, how it booms. It booms in you, it blooms in you, imagine you, how beautiful our babies would be. Soft when put to bed. Alive upon waking and asking all the questions. Baby mine. No longer. I walk away so slow you barely see me. Years later I am steady as ever. You’re lost? Come find me soothe, muse. Come find where I am lucky and strong. Muscles like a father bear. Don’t cry. We met at the wrong time. You didn’t mean to. Goodbye, my love.
GUITAR / LOVE 3.
Hiccups. Wine, whine, wine. Why am I syncopation, I want elation I want life. Lamenting you. You’re not… here enough. Please. Please. Cry. For me. For you. For dead world. Baby. You know what you do—ohh—I can’t—elate. Relate to me baby. Baby cutie beauty face. Oh and it aches so. So much. Do you feel it too? Coming from pelvis to chest? Hipbones to ribs? Ah yes right there. In aching now heart. God. It feels like a relief that… only a scratch can itch, an itch can scratch. Both hurt. My arms aren’t oh longgg enough. My body shakes with the rhythm of the sadness of it. I go hoarse from crying—for you—too much. I go horses crazy. (You’ve called me lazy. Before, it’s not the main problem.) Maybe? Never mind? Maybe never mind. I will stay in this corner softly screaming till my voice goes bad like raw milk. Give it to the goat. Baby goatie face. Has more use for it than me. You kill all the ugly innocent things. We’re not… worse than you, you know. We’re not here as entertainment. We have just as fucking much of the feelings. Can I? Now? Sleep? Lifeless.