Cat Head Bonk

I used to know it was time to wake up
When my cat Penny
Would race into the bedroom
Or rouse from her sleep at the end of the bed
And do her cat ballet
Back and forth on my back.
Then she would do the Cat Head Bonk
On the back of my head
Until I finally acknowledged her presence.
After a couple of head and chin scritches,
A few long back strokes from neck to tail,
She was ready to go back to ignoring me.

Now on days when I don’t have to set up an alarm
I swear I think I wake up about the time
Penny would be pirouetting on my back
In the new light of morning.

My daughter Sara
Wrote a poem when she was eight-years-old
And in the poem she called Penny
An alarm clock with fur.
I was thinking about that poem
And then I wrote this poem
And

I miss my girls so much.
I miss my girls so much.

Inside of My Heart

Inside of my heart are a million stars exploding,
A billion worlds forming.
Inside of my eye is a single blue world
Just green enough for you to enter.
Inside of my mind is all of Confucius, Christ,
Siddhartha, Buddha and Buddy Holly.
They are playing poker, waiting for me to know enough
To be the fifth hand.

Inside of my heart is all of everything
Swirling in a vacuum of waste
As I wait for you to come
And fill it to the top.
Come on. Do it.
I want to get in that poker game someday. 

The Pillow

The pillow
would smell
like you for
a day after
you went home
to put your
hair and your
head on your
own pillow

and I would
get into bed
the day after
and put the
pillow you
used to my
nose and I
would inhale
deeply and
remember
your body
beside mine

and

it has gotten
to the point
that I cannot
even conjure
the memories
of us anymore
but instead
just the vague
memories of

your scent on
my pillow
and my own
obsession
with you
that has not
abated even
though you
are now just
a ghost in
my memory

whose very
scent could
make me
smile or
weep or
even just
smile or
weep

remembering
it.